How to Enjoy the College Search: Five Stress-Free Tips for Families

Often when I meet with students and their families, I ask, “How are you currently feeling about the college search process?” One feeling tends to bubble up more than others: stressed. And I totally get it. The college search can be overwhelming. With looming deadlines, tough decisions, and high-pressure stakes, it’s easy for the process to feel more like a burden than an opportunity.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Yes, the college search is important—but it can also be meaningful, even enjoyable, when approached with the right mindset and a few practical strategies. Below are five tips I often share with families to help lower the temperature, reduce the stress, and rediscover a little joy in the journey.

1. Start with a Growth Mindset

It might sound simple, but reframing how we think about the college search can completely change the way we experience it. Instead of viewing this as something we “have to do,” try approaching it as something you get to do.

I love how Lauren Cook Carter frames this idea in her book Mindful Admission. She encourages students and families to treat the process as a privilege and a chance for discovery, not just a race to the finish line. When we lead with curiosity instead of fear, and growth instead of perfection, the college search becomes a chance to learn, not just about schools, but about ourselves.

2. Accept the Bumpy Moments

Let’s be honest—no college search is perfect. There will be missed deadlines, awkward campus tours, and maybe even a family disagreement or two. And that’s okay.

One of the best things families can do is expect that there will be bumps along the way. Give each other a little extra grace. This is an imperfect process, and the goal isn’t to do it flawlessly; it’s to do it thoughtfully, together. Take a breath, zoom out, and remember: no single decision defines your future. Let’s lower the stakes and focus on progress over perfection.

3. Change Up the Environment

If every college conversation happens at the dinner table or in the middle of a stressful evening, it’s no wonder everyone starts to dread it. So here’s my tip: change the scenery.

Pick a place your family enjoys. Maybe it’s your favorite wing spot, a cozy coffee shop, or the ice cream parlor down the street and schedule a "college talk" time there. Bringing the conversation into a more relaxed, neutral setting can shift the tone and make space for more open, even fun, dialogue. Plus, everywhere has internet these days… so that campus research can absolutely happen over milkshakes.

4. Get (and Stay) Organized

One major source of stress? Feeling like everything is happening all at once. The antidote is a simple but powerful tool: a shared family calendar.

Use it to track application deadlines, college visits, financial aid dates, essay drafts—you name it. Keep it somewhere visible (on the fridge or shared online) and check in weekly. Staying ahead of deadlines helps everyone feel more in control and keeps last-minute panic to a minimum.

5. Create Goals—and Celebrate Them

The college process includes a lot of steps, and sometimes the wins get lost in the shuffle. That’s why I encourage families to set small goals—and more importantly, celebrate them.

Did you finish that Common App? Submit your first application? Great! Go out for pizza or plan a movie night. Planning a college road trip? Add a fun detour like a beach day or theme park visit. These small celebrations don’t just boost morale, they help students feel seen, supported, and excited about the road ahead.

Final Thoughts

The college search doesn’t have to be something your family just survives. With the right mindset and a little intentionality, it can be something you remember fondly: a shared experience that brought you closer together.

So take a deep breath, grab your calendar (and maybe a scoop of ice cream), and start building a process that works for your family—not just around it.